Peace of Paradise
- Tevyn Gill
- Apr 1, 2018
- 2 min read
25.03.17
This morning I woke up in paradise, the troubles of weeks past a distant memory. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel heavy when got up. I didn’t feel to snooze my alarm or fling my phone into a wall. My eyelids didn’t feel their usual discouraging weight, making it impossible to open them to the world outside. I didn’t sit up into that typical feeling of dread and monotony, like my life had been stuck in a repetitive unproductive loop. I felt free of it. The loop was broken. And I finally felt some sort of spike on my lifeline. Like things were happening. Like things could possibly be different to how I’d perceived them prior. Yea, I was still broke, unemployed and a confused ball of emotions, but I just felt free. I felt how the sun looked. Energy flowed through me the way it did with the waves crashing onto the shoreline outside. And calm washed over me like the cool Caribbean breeze that danced elegantly with the poised palm trees. Things in my life weren’t any different than they were yesterday, but my mind, more so than my body, was in a completely different place. And that changed everything.
I’d previously felt like I was stuck in a rut of existential stagnation, compounded by a stretch of unemployment and financial woe. And though I was well aware that this was not a unique struggle by any means, my perceived need for these tangible indicators of success left me feeling both heavy and empty at the same time. However, in this carefree moment of absolute freedom and complete relaxation, though the pressures of my exterior world were still ever present, I didn’t feel them. It was difficult to acknowledge something so troubling with life’s simple gifts literally right outside your door. It made me realize that, affluent or not, this is the way we were meant to live. In constant appreciation of the gorgeousness of Gaia. Sand between our toes and breeze against our skin.I just hoped upon being removed from a scenes as serendipitous as these, that I would be able to retain this often fragile frame of mind.
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